​I haven’t always been a crunchy lady.

Years ago, before I’d met my husband and most definitely before the thought of having a baby crossed my mind, I proclaimed that I’d take the epidural in the parking lot, duh!
 
I took all the pills for all the things (legal OTCs here, people, please) and gratuitously rubbed lauryl-everything all over my body daily while laughing maniacally. 
 
Fast-forward 15 years. 
 
I now wash my face with olive oil and wash my hair with baking soda.  My first baby was born in front of my freezer which makes it safe to say there was no parking lot epidural.  I’ve only recently consented to Mrs. Meyer’s cleaning products instead of a baking soda-vinegar-essential oil combo and I went a nice long time using something called soap nuts in my laundry.
 
What in the what happened?
 
I’ve seen this happen enough times to know it’s not just me, though I know better than to say this is everybody.  (If it’s not you, please read along and roll your eyes. I get it.)  There is something about preparing to greet such a pure, clean being at the complete beginning of his or her journey that made me re-evaluate. If couldn't bring world peace to fruition and undo the Earth's pollution, then by golly at least I could make our home a sacred utopia of peace and coconut oil.
 
Looking down at my firstborn, I was acutely aware of his clean slate.  I was also acutely aware of how I now had a lot of say in how that slate got painted.  Trading shampoo for baking soda made sense.  Soap nuts instead of laundry detergent made sense.  (Chocolate as a food group made no sense, but you’re not here to judge, right?)
 
And then, as we added to our family and various other sectors of life have grabbed our attention, some of this crunchiness has softened.  We cloth-diapered 2.5 kids, but this last year we chose to just let it go.  I 'joke' that my oldest and my youngest – five years apart – both ate their first hot dogs on the same day. It was a big day when I decided to buy the detangler for my daughter from Target instead of trying to make do with coconut oil.  Now, isn’t that a crazy sentence?
 
Dear Reader, make room for the changes you feel nudged to make, in either direction of the crunchy spectrum or any other spectrum you find yourself on.  There is a time for everything and we are not stagnant in our parenting nor our personhood. Don’t feel badly if you find yourself living up to a new measure rather than the one you were aiming for last year or last week or this morning, as long as you are the holder of the measuring stick. It is okay for our values and priorities to shift and change as we are ever-evolving.  What bores we would be if we weren’t!

1. First things first - let's get to know you a little bit! What world destination have you never been to but hope to get to one day?
I've always wanted to go to Morocco. I love the architecture and art of that region.

2. And, what's a favorite quote / book / song of yours?
 Live a life that is driven more strongly by curiosity than by fear. -Elizabeth Gilbert

3. Tell us a little bit about your practice.
Chiropractic First is a light touch chiropractic and energy medicine practice that focuses on helping people heal physically, mentally and emotionally. Our specialties are bodymind concerns like anxiety, depression and stress relief. We also help a lot of pregnant women and babies to heal and have more ease and less pain. 
We have been helping pregnant women in Evanston for over 25 years. 

4. What makes your practice special?
Chiropractic First is a wonderful community. We have many generations of families who come in for care together. We help not just mothers and children, but grandparents and even great grandparents. 
People refer their parents and children because we help them heal their physical pain and their emotional pain. People who come to Chiropractic First report being more calm, more patient with their children, better able to communicate with their spouse.  What makes Chiropractic First special is that it is a place where families come to heal.

5. When a pregnant woman finds her way into Chiropractic First, what are some issues that she's likely encountering?
Women come into Chiropractic First often either because they have back or hip pain or because they want a more natural birth. Chiropractic has been shown to help decrease labor time by 24% in first time pregnancy and 33% for women who have given birth previously. Chiropractic care relaxes the pelvic floor muscles in pregnant women. This makes birth a much easier process. 

6. What kind of help do you offer that is unique to pregnant and/or postpartum women?
Patients at Chiropractic First receive a light touch form of chiropractic that is incredibly gentle. For pregnant women this is especially appreciated. Because their bodies are changing so dramatically, they do not need a lot of force. We can be gentle and still facilitate major improvement.

7. What kind of responses do you see when you work with a newborn?
Newborns sleep better. They are less fussy. They nurse better, have stronger latches and digest more easily. Newborns also heal very quickly. And so we can often make big changes in very short periods of time.

8. How do you see your practice serving pregnant and postpartum women five years from now?
Chiropractic First has been helping women and babies for over 25 years. Some of the first babies we helped are now in their 20s and still coming to Chiropractic First. In 5 years I hope we will be helping the women give birth who's mothers came to Chiropractic First 25 years ago when they were pregnant. We have women in our practice who have been coming to us since they were newborns, and I am really excited for the time to come when we help those women start their own families. 
And so, in 5 years I hope we will be doing exactly what we are doing today. We will be helping pregnant women, postpartum women and babies to more fully embrace the major physically, mental and emotional changes they are experiencing. I look forward to strengthening relationships with the doulas, midwives and OBGYNs who refer to us, and also the relationships we with the families we have int he practice today.

9. What's something that you wish you could tell every woman on the brink of experiencing pregnancy and childbirth?
I'd tell them how transformative chiropractic care can be if they start early. So often women come in midway through their pregnancy for pain. Then they realize how much easier it makes the entire process. On their next pregnancy they start chiropractic care early in their first trimester, because they have experienced how significant the benefits are. Pregnancy doesn't have to be painful, it may not always be easy, but it can probably be far easier than you expect.

10. Anything else you want to say that isn't covered here?
Here are some links to the research I mention in the above responses: 
1. http://chiropractic.ac.nz/index.php/about-us/college-news/101-new-zealand-research-shows-benefit-of-chiropractic-care-during-pregnancy
2. https://spinalresearch.com.au/wp-content/uploads/Haavik-Pelvic-Floor.pdf

Chiropractic First: 1609 A, Chicago Ave, Evanston, IL  
Phone: 847-869-1313
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Chiropractic1st

I remember so well what it was like trying to breastfeed my first-born in those beginning weeks.  We didn't have the huge issues that some mamas encounter (tongue or lip ties or recurring thrush to name a couple), but it was still challenging.  I remember being in the fetal position on the floor, sobbing, sure that I was going to fail at keeping my son's body alive with my own.

I am often grateful that I learned to breastfeed my son in country that has always seen breastfeeding as the norm.  We were living in Sweden at the time and you could barely throw a stone without hitting a nursing mother (note: do not throw stones at mothers).  I remember a male friend coming up to me while I was nursing and he leaned in to look.  I thought, "Isn't he supposed to feel awkward about this?"  I'm so glad he didn't, and I so wish we could transpose the normality of breastfeeding to American culture.

If you are local to Illinois than you no doubt are familiar with a recent story of a nursing mother being asked to cover up or move while dining in a restaurant.  This event a huge stir among breastfeeding mothers and rightly so.  Federal law prohibits the harassment of breastfeeding mothers and their babies.  Anywhere that a woman is permitted to be is also a legal place to nurse. It took almost a week for the owner to realize that he was in the wrong and to issue a formal apology and promise appropriate training for his staff.

I so, so hope that one day we won't be talking about breastfeeding "in public" because it will be as accepted as walking down the street.  Until then, let's work to normalize breastfeeding by nursing wherever we happen to be when the need arises, and encouraging the women we see doing so. Nursing mothers are fierce, and we can change the world.

#normalizebreastfeeding

I recently read this article that give a bunch of stats about Americans and our stuff; I very nearly cried.  Thinking about all the stuff that my family has accumulated over time - much of it related to our kids - and how the physical clutter adds to mental clutter is a bit sobering.  Take a look at the staggering statistics that are listed and tell me you don't feel a small nudge to get on with less.  If you're on board, here are a few tips for living with less with regards to little ones.

1.  Before the baby comes stick to the necessities.  For the ultimate minimalist that would look something like diapers, 2-3 outfits, a couple blankets and a baby wrap or stroller.  If you birth in an American hospital you are required to have a proper car seat before you are discharged, so there's that.  Things you may think are necessities - a crib, mobile, books, toys, baby bath tub, tiny UGGs, to name a few - may not actually be things that you put to great use.  


And if you find that they are...

2. Acquire things as the need arises.  Before you are actually living your life with your child it's hard to pinpoint which crazy gadget is going to add to your life and which one is going to take from it.  When my first was born we lived in a 400-sq-ft, one-bedroom apartment and had no room or need for a crib.  So, we didn't have one.  Six months later when we were getting ready  for a three-week vacation we knew that with our set-up a pack-n-play would be a huge help as our rental had a pool that we'd be lounging by a lot.  It was a time to acquire.  

A great way to do this is...

3. Buy things second-hand (or get it for free).  Seriously. EVERYTHING.  I'll start with clothes.  Kids grow so fast from birth to three years that often things are only worn a handful of times. I occasionally found myself changing my kids just to make sure they wore every outfit. Wraps and carriers have entire sites dedicated to selling and trading.  People can't seem to get rid of their kid gear fast enough it seems, so keep an eye open. Thrift stores, Craigslist, yard sales (both real and virtual) and your friends are all burgeoning with clothes that you can score for free or very cheap.  Beware, hopping aboard the hand-me-down train can still lead to excess, says She-Who-Speaks-From-Experience (ahem).  But, if you're like me, you'll find that when you get something for free or cheap it's easier to pass it on than if you've put some serious cash into it.  One item that I am hesitant to get second-hand, unless it's from an extremely trusted resource, is a car seat.  Car seats should be trashed if they've ever been in an accident.  They also have expiration dates (typically 5-6 years, though some are longer) so take that into consideration.

Here's a story about my favorite free kids score.  When my first son was one and a half he was starting to show interest in using the toilet.  One morning I popped him in the car to go to our fabulous local kids' consignment store Hand Me Downs (don't worry, no actual kids are consigned here). On the way to the store, there was a potty by the side of the road.  Did you hear me? A POTTY BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD.  I'm sure you're thinking, 'oh, that's gross, who would stop and pick that up to take home for first-born?'  ME, ladies and gentlemen, that's who.

Stay tuned for Part II where I'll talk about avoiding the clutter with slightly older kids.  

When my family first moved to Evanston we were part of a Mom's Sanity Group (er, play group) that had a variety of different types of mamas and babies in it.  We would rotate where we met each week which served the purpose of letting all of us know that no one else had figured out how to keep things clean while parenting at the same time, either.

One family had made it a well-known rule to their family and friends that they only would accept wooden, Montessori-type toys for their child.

I loved this.  I loved that everything they had was beautiful. (Their floor was also entirely covered in rice grains, but that's a different story.)  I loved that they had no reservations about figuring out exactly what they wanted for their kid, and then sticking to it and enjoying the pay-off.  Oh, both guts and glory! How wonderful.

I was that way about some things, too. (My husband might say about a lot of things.)  When our #2 came along there was a period of internal iron against iron, trying to maintain my self-created utopia while also doing double - no, triple! - the parenting, followed by a dramatic tumbling to the bottom and finalized by finding a new, lower-bar steady-state. [Read: Who cares if it's made out of lead, just keep this kid from eating the baby!]

When #3 came it was similar, though it consisted of less iron (thank goodness) and a lower bar (eh, oh well).

I don't know exactly what I'm trying to tell you here, except that we parents change over the course of our parenting.  Whether you have one kid or eight, things will change and you will change.  You might be tempted to look back at your old self and say, "Oh what an idealist I was!" or "Oh, what a nervous parent I was!" or whatever it is that you were, and mourn a little bit.  Or, you might feel pulled to lament your current lack of perfection as you juggle your increasing kids/responsibilities/ideals.  

I'm slowly embracing the fact that I don't have to do either of those things.  Where I was at served me well then, and where I'm at now serves me well, also.  "Change" and "difference" do not equate to "better than" and "worse than".

So, there you go.  Go be the best parent you are able to be, and enjoy the heck out of it.

We have a busy household; I'm sure you do, too.  No matter the number of kids, jobs, and pets there is always a steady stream of chaos waiting to be brought back into equilibrium.  And then there are the things that sit on the back burner, that constitute our buckets lists, and that fill the quadrants of our urgent and important charts.

Life, as we live it, is busy.

Sometimes the business is comforting. It's nice getting all the laundry put away, even if it took all week to get there and tomorrow we'll start over again. Bustling my kids to and from swim lessons is rewarding especially on days when I'm pretty sure the only other contribution I've made to their lives is fodder for therapy.

But occasionally I find myself in a rare mind space where there is nothing that has to be done.  No meeting to attend, no placenta to encapsulate, no paperwork to sort. All of a sudden, I realize that nothing feels as significant as getting to mom.

(Hypothetically speaking, of course.)

You just had your third baby.  And by "just" you really mean months ago.  But, it's been icy and snowy and cold and... stuff, and so you find yourself venturing out for a walk with ALL THE CHILDREN for the first time.

Oh, the first time.  Scary?  Exciting? 

Overwhelming.

You are still many, many minutes from when you have agreed to be at a certain place.  You are also many, many minutes from convincing yourself that this is going to happen.

You change the meeting place, going for something a bit more realistic.  (Nice move.)

You make a mental check list of all that must be done: travel arrangements, diaper bag, teeth brushed (yours, not theirs), get dressed (you again, not them).

Then, you pare it down: veto the cloth diapers.  Veto the clothes change (your pjs look like your clothes look like your pjs look like your clothes... this is acceptable for at least the first six months, yes?  Please say yes, oh please say yes.)  Crank on the screen to keep the kids settled while you settle yourself.

After what seems like years, you and your little ones make your Grand Exit; or rather, your Grand Entrance into the world as a mother with her three darlings, appearing for the very first time!  

You take a deep breath and head on your way.  You've made it*.

(Hypothetically speaking, you are also two minutes early which is a true, low-and-behold miracle not to be discounted. Hallelujah.)

(*This refers to this day only.  You still have 18 years ahead of.  Sigh.  And, Hallelujah!)

Evanston, IL is a paradise for families.  If Northwestern University hasn't lured couples here, then chances are good that it's Evanston's perfect placement between Chicago and the North Shore that has sung the siren song.  It's still close enough to the action of the city living of our youth (I may say with a bit of wist), without making us stamp ourselves "Suburbia" before we are ready for that plunge.

The out-of-doors activities are amazing (though I do write this on Halloween, which has given us not only candy but also our first snow of the season).  My non-exact counting of the "Evanston Parks" map, below, suggests you could try a new park every day in the summer and not run out of options.  See?  Some of my favorites are Pirate Park (along the lake), and Penny Park (on the corner of Lake & Ashland).  If you move the Evanston not knowing a soul, worry not!  Hit up some parks and find your tribe before your kid has a chance to fall off the slide!

As you observant folk may also notice from this lovely screen shot, Evanston's crowning glory is that it sits on Lake Michigan.  Evanston has four beautiful beaches to enjoy (plus one just for furry friends).  It's a common sight to see groups of young parents and their children meeting for play dates and dinner dates, enjoying the warm days, sometimes getting a delivery from the pizza guy.  Not much to dislike about that.

Now.  if you know Chicagoland, then you know that summer is amazing, but the eight months of winter can be killer.  (Did I mention it's snowing?)  Have no fear, because Evanston's got us desperate-not-to-be-housebound parents covered as well.

Since you can't beat free, the Evanston Public Library (EPL) is amazing.  The main branch on the corner of Church and Orrington features half a floor devoted to kids.  There are three separate play areas, toys that are out and games that can be borrowed (with a card, of course) and endless books to bewitch and amuse.  The children's staff is amazing, offering as much direction as requested. 

Gather, @ 602 Davis St, is a favorite for both parents and kids.  This drop-in play space features free coffee, tea and wifi for you, while your little ones do art, play with the delicious smelling play dough (I believe Jell-O powder is the secret here!), and indulge in plenty of dress-up, blocks, trains, puzzles, and more.  

Studios all over town offer classes for parents and kids.  Check out Hip Circle Studio (Mother/Daughter Bellydance, anyone?), Grateful Yoga (for, you guessed it...), and the McGaw YMCA as you start your search.

I'd be remiss if I neglected the mention of food in this post, since Evanston has so many fabulous gems to try (and, I love food).  For today, I will leave it to suggesting the lunch buffet at Mt. Everest @ 630 Church St (a perfect stop after a morning at the library).  While the $10.95 lunch buffet blows all other Indian lunch buffets out of the water (in my humble opinion, of course), the real kicker is that KIDS EAT at the buffet for FREE.  So, for example, I can go there with my two kids, and meet my friend, Rose, with her two kids, and all six of us can eat for under $30 including tip. Done and done! They will even bring your kiddo a half cup of mango lasee in a covered plastic cup... though, this may just be a brilliant ploy to inject young ones with sugar so that parents through there at lightening speed.  No matter, works for me!

If you are a parent living in Evanston, I'd love to know your favorite kid-friendly spots around town.  If you're a parent or soon-to-be parent thinking about living in Evanston, share in the comments what you'd love to see exist for parents in your new town.