I host a monthly meet-up group for families that are interested in homebirth. (Wait! If that's not you, don't stop reading! I promise this isn't about homebirth!) Our most recent topic was on preparing siblings for birth and I gave a short presentation on some key points to focus on. In this post, I've tweaked my homebirth talk to apply to preparing older siblings to welcome a new sibling into the family, regardless of where the birth takes place.
When bringing home a new sibling, remember to PREP:
PRACTICE some aspects of life as they will be like after the baby arrives. Maybe this means that your older kids learn to get into their car seats by themselves without you lifting them up. Maybe they learn how to prepare simple snacks for themselves (and you!) so that you can have a little downtime while you're in the middle of a marathon breastfeeding session. Remember to keep it age-appropriate and start your practice far enough in advance that it becomes the new normal.
REVIEW stories about birth and bringing babies home. Perhaps you have pictures from the birth of your older children; view them together. Go to the library and check out books about the arrival of new siblings. Let them know how wonderful it was when you brought them home the first time. Build their excitement around welcoming a new brother or sister into the family!
ENGAGE your older children in preparation for the baby. Have them help you pack your hospital bag, and explain why you want your fluffy robe and your own toothpaste at the hospital. Ask their input on setting up the nursery or on which toys they think baby will want first. Let them pick out baby's coming home outfit. You want to communicate that this change includes them, not excludes them.
PASS (ON) as much immediate care of older siblings and household responsibilities as you can in the days (and weeks or even months, if you can) following your homecoming. Give yourself - and your new baby - the gift of acclimating to each other and recovering from birth; give your older children the gift of someone with the capacity to offer their full attention and engagement in ways you may not be able to quite yet. This can be one of the trickiest aspects of having a baby to pull off, so be sure to think about this earlier than later.
Good luck on your journey in parenting two... or three, or four, or more!
When bringing home a new sibling, remember to PREP:
PRACTICE some aspects of life as they will be like after the baby arrives. Maybe this means that your older kids learn to get into their car seats by themselves without you lifting them up. Maybe they learn how to prepare simple snacks for themselves (and you!) so that you can have a little downtime while you're in the middle of a marathon breastfeeding session. Remember to keep it age-appropriate and start your practice far enough in advance that it becomes the new normal.
REVIEW stories about birth and bringing babies home. Perhaps you have pictures from the birth of your older children; view them together. Go to the library and check out books about the arrival of new siblings. Let them know how wonderful it was when you brought them home the first time. Build their excitement around welcoming a new brother or sister into the family!
ENGAGE your older children in preparation for the baby. Have them help you pack your hospital bag, and explain why you want your fluffy robe and your own toothpaste at the hospital. Ask their input on setting up the nursery or on which toys they think baby will want first. Let them pick out baby's coming home outfit. You want to communicate that this change includes them, not excludes them.
PASS (ON) as much immediate care of older siblings and household responsibilities as you can in the days (and weeks or even months, if you can) following your homecoming. Give yourself - and your new baby - the gift of acclimating to each other and recovering from birth; give your older children the gift of someone with the capacity to offer their full attention and engagement in ways you may not be able to quite yet. This can be one of the trickiest aspects of having a baby to pull off, so be sure to think about this earlier than later.
Good luck on your journey in parenting two... or three, or four, or more!
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